Transforming Doubt into Drive: The Engineer’s Journey Through Imposter Syndrome

What is Imposter Syndrome and why do we feel It?

Have you ever felt like you’re masquerading as something you’re not, secretly afraid of being “found out” as not as competent or talented as people think? That’s Imposter Syndrome, a psychological phenomenon where individuals doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud.”

But why do we feel it? Interestingly, it often stems from a good place — our desire to do well and our commitment to high standards. In the fast-evolving field of technology, where each day presents a new framework, tool, or language to master, it’s easy to feel like we’re not keeping up. The more we know, the more acutely aware we become of what we don’t know. This paradox is particularly common in fields like ours, where innovation is rapid and the pressure to be on the cutting edge is intense.

Ironically, it’s often the brightest and most skilled individuals who feel imposter syndrome the most intensely. It’s as if our brain discounts the evidence of our hard work and achievements, focusing instead on an illusory lack of skill. This misalignment between perception and reality can be attributed to a cognitive bias known as the Dunning-Kruger effect, where the highly competent are more likely to underestimate their abilities while the less competent overestimate theirs.

Understanding the roots of imposter syndrome is the first step in overcoming it. By acknowledging that it’s a shared and natural experience, especially among those pushing their boundaries, we can start to dismantle its power over us, paragraph by paragraph, line by line, just like we would debug a complex piece of code.

Why Do Engineers Doubt Themselves?

As engineers, we often find ourselves questioning our abilities. It’s like a shadow that quietly trails behind us, even after years of solving complex problems and writing code. But let’s break down why this happens.

The tech world moves at lightning speed. What we learned as the newest technique can quickly feel outdated. There’s always a new language or tool to master, and it feels like we’re forever playing catch-up with the ever-shifting finish line.

On social media and professional networking sites, we see the highlights: promotions, successful projects, and breakthroughs. But the setbacks and the stumbles? Those don’t make it to the newsfeed. It can make us feel like we’re the only ones struggling, which isn’t the truth.

Our job is to look for what’s not working — to find solutions and solve problems. It’s no surprise that this habit of searching for imperfections can lead us to be overly critical of our expertise.

And let’s talk about productivity. It’s unrealistic to expect that we’ll be 100% on our game all the time. Our energy levels ebb and flow. Sometimes, the work isn’t all that exciting, or we might just be feeling low on motivation. It’s often in these moments that we start to wonder if our engineering skills are fading or if we were ever that good to begin with.

But here’s the twist: If you never doubted yourself, it would mean you’re comfortable. And in our field, too much comfort can lead to stagnation. Those doubts? They’re a sign that you’re pushing the envelope, that you care enough to question and strive for better. Doubt isn’t the enemy, it’s a natural part of the creative and technical process that pushes us to refine our skills continually.

So, when the shadow of doubt looms, remember it’s part of being yourself. It’s not a question mark over your skills but a stepping stone on the path of growth.

The False Security of the Comfort Zone and the Reality of Growth

Think about the times when everything at work just clicks. You’re solving problems you’ve handled a hundred times before. You feel confident, and sure of your skills — you’re in your comfort zone. But if you’re always this sure of yourself, you might be missing out on growing. It’s like staying in the shallow end of the pool when you could be swimming in deeper waters.

If you’re not feeling a bit unsure or like you’re out of your depth sometimes, it could mean you’re not learning anything new. That feeling of being an ‘imposter’ might be a good sign. It usually shows up when you’re facing something tough, learning a new skill, or taking on a challenge that’s bigger than what you’re used to.

The Dunning-Kruger effect is when people who know just a little think they know a lot. When we start something new, we don’t know enough to see how much we still have to learn, so we feel pretty good about our skills. But as we learn more, we start to see just how much we don’t know. That’s when we feel like imposters — not because we’re not good, but because we’re better than we were, and now we see the whole mountain of stuff we still need to learn.

So if you never feel like you’re not quite good enough, you might just be playing it safe, sticking to what you know and not pushing yourself. Feeling like an imposter means you’re stepping out, and trying new things, and that’s where real growth happens. It’s okay to be in the comfort zone sometimes, but don’t stay there too long, or you’ll miss all the exciting stuff that happens when you stretch your limits.

Embracing Failure as a Learning Tool

In our field and not only, the fear of failure is a significant contributor to Imposter Syndrome and doubts. Many of us, especially seniors and leads, equate failure with a lack of ability or knowledge. This fear often manifests as a voice in our heads, telling us that one mistake or misstep will unveil us as frauds. But this perspective overlooks a crucial truth: failure is an integral part of learning and growth.

Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” His mindset transforms failure from a negative endpoint into a vital step in the process of innovation. In our field, every problem, every struggle, and every piece of feedback is a golden opportunity for improvement. Instead of viewing these instances as evidence of our inadequacies, we can reframe them as signposts guiding us toward our goals.

Consider the stories of tech luminaries like Elon Musk and Steve Jobs. Musk’s SpaceX saw its first three rocket launches end in failure. Instead of giving up, Musk used these experiences to refine his approach, leading to the successful launch of the Falcon 1 on the fourth attempt, and eventually, revolutionizing space travel. Similarly, Steve Jobs, ousted from Apple, the company he co-founded, used this period to develop skills and ideas that he later brought back to Apple, leading to some of its most innovative products.

These stories show us something important: the road to great success is often filled with failures. What matters is how we react to these failures. Instead of getting stuck on our mistakes, we should learn from them. This way, we turn our failures into steps that help us move forward and succeed.

Just as a craftsman uses different tools to shape and perfect their creations, we can wield failure as a tool to sculpt our skills, knowledge, and resilience. Each failure carves out the rough edges, revealing a more refined version of our professional selves.

The Role of Leadership, Mentorship, Team and 1-to-1 Interactions

In a team, each member has their way of working, and how well they do can change from time to time. Some might do well for a while, then have a period when they’re not as effective. This isn’t about being better or worse, it’s about finding what fits best for them in the team. Life happens, and personal challenges can affect their work, too. This is often when people start feeling like they’re not up to the mark. This can be especially tough for those who are less experienced and can lead to a lack of motivation. That’s why it’s so important for team leaders and mentors to understand and show empathy. By helping each person find their place and feel confident, regardless of what’s going on in their personal lives, everyone can thrive.

There are two types of leaders we face most of the time

The Disconnected Leader

Consider a team lead who maintains a distance, focusing mainly on deadlines and outputs. In this team, a skilled yet introverted member starts feeling less motivated and productive, battling feelings of inadequacy without a way to express these doubts. The lead’s lack of engagement deepens the team members’ sense of isolation and Imposter Syndrome, negatively impacting performance and job satisfaction. This scenario highlights how a leader’s lack of involvement can exacerbate self-doubt and detachment.

The Proactive Leader

In a contrasting scenario, a team lead is deeply engaged with the team. Regular 1-to-1 meetings are held, creating an environment of open communication and feedback. A team member facing Imposter Syndrome finds these interactions invaluable. The lead monitors progress, acknowledges efforts, provides feedback, and encourages setting and celebrating achievable goals. This approach helps the team member combat self-doubt, enhancing productivity and morale, and fostering a sense of recognition and belonging. This example underscores the positive influence a leader can have through active support and guidance.

Now, ask yourself: In which leader’s team would you prefer to be? And which one will achieve better results with their team?

I think the answer is pretty straightforward.

Balancing Self-Criticism with Self-Compassion

Self-criticism is often seen as a tool for growth and improvement. However, there’s a fine line between constructive self-criticism and detrimental self-doubt. While the former can propel us towards excellence, the latter can spiral into a counterproductive mindset, impeding both personal and professional growth. Striking a balance between these two is crucial.

Self-compassion plays a pivotal role in this balance. It’s about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a colleague or friend in a similar situation. Recognizing that mistakes and setbacks are part of the learning process is essential in fostering a healthy attitude toward self-improvement.

Tips for Practicing Self-Compassion

1. Acknowledge and Accept Your Feelings: When you’re facing a challenge or a setback, acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Accept that feeling frustrated or doubtful is a natural part of tackling complex tasks.
2. Reflect on Past Successes: Remind yourself of your past achievements and the obstacles you’ve overcome. This can provide a more balanced perspective of your abilities and potential.
3. Set Realistic Goals: Set achievable goals for your work. Celebrate the small victories along the way, as they are the stepping stones to larger successes.
4. Seek Feedback Constructively: Instead of fearing feedback, embrace it as a tool for learning. Constructive feedback, when approached with an open mind, can be a valuable source of insight and growth.
5. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you stay grounded and focused, reducing the tendency to over-criticize yourself. Techniques like meditation or even a few minutes of quiet reflection can be beneficial.
6. Connect with Peers: Sharing your experiences with peers can provide perspective. Often, you’ll find that others have faced similar challenges, reminding you that you’re not alone in your journey.

Practicing self-compassion doesn’t mean lowering your standards. It’s about approaching your work with a mindset that values growth and learning, without the paralyzing fear of making mistakes. Balancing self-criticism with self-compassion allows engineers to strive for excellence while nurturing their well-being and confidence.

Some kind of Practical Strategies

Have you ever tried working on your projects after a hard day’s work? Or felt burnt out juggling a full-time job, freelancing, and your projects? I certainly have. And I’ve found a method that helps me. It’s important to note that everyone’s mind works differently, so what works for me might not be the exact solution for you. However, I can share my key strategy for overcoming these challenges.

Whenever I find that my work isn’t bringing me joy, I turn to pet projects. I keep a list of open-source ideas and dive into whichever one grabs my interest. I often choose projects in domains where I have no prior knowledge. For instance, my latest open-source project was in Rust, a language I knew nothing about beforehand. I made the project so intriguing that I became completely absorbed in it. I spend my time reading and understanding the problem, searching for solutions in that language or domain. My mind gets so occupied with the idea that I don’t have time to think about being tired after work. The moment I’m free, I plunge into this captivating maze of research, reading, coding, and then more researching and reading. This process of incremental programming sparks new ideas and concepts. While working on one project, I often come up with ideas for future open-source projects, keeping my list ever-growing.

After some time, this approach makes me feel fulfilled. I feel like a competent and quality engineer who has achieved something significant on my own. I understand the problems and the technology, and I feel worthy of being called an engineer because I’ve made it, and I’m proud of my work. This strategy has been a practical solution for me, helping me navigate through numerous days filled with doubt and Imposter Syndrome, beyond just managing my thoughts and mindset.”

I sincerely hope this article offers some guidance and support. You might be feeling confident in your abilities right now, but should you ever encounter moments of self-doubt or Imposter Syndrome, I hope these insights will be a beacon of encouragement for you. Knowing that my experiences and strategies could make a positive impact on your journey would bring me immense joy and pride.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Take care and continue to nurture your incredible potential.